Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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