he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
