Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
