Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
