Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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