Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
