The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
