if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
