the day after is always just damage control
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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