That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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