that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
