Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
