Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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