like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
bring money and cleavage
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
