Plan B is the new Plan A
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
