I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
