Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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