its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
