The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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