Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You were trust falling into bushes
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
