He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
