Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Is it penis luge time yet?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
