You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
