jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
