I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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