So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
