whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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