Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
