Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
