Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
