Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
