what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize