how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
