So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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