that's an acceptable place to lick
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
