i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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