halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize