Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
