So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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