you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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