the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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