why didn't you poke me back
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
