Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
