dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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