I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
