He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
