Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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