Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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