just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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