You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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