I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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