Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
