I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Quick, to the slutcave!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize