bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize