Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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