last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
