At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
