I bet he comes in French.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
