im about as happy as oj after his trial
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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