DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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